Too Much
by Demon Rapture
Summary: Masaomi finds out that Mikado has feelings for him, but then later has that confession taken from him, when he finds out Mikado and Anri have stated dating. Masaomi's emotions are all over the place, and he feels like he has to tell someone, being Izaya
1. Chapter 1

It's bad I know, but hey! It's my first fanfiction so :P

I was going to make it a one-shot, but it got kind of long so I made it into chapters…

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><p>"I love you, Masaomi-kun!"… The words came out. I wasn't all that surprised; Mikado had always acted that way towards me. To be honest, I was just waiting for him to confess. I even occasionally tried to push him into situations where he would feel pressured to admit it, because frankly, I was getting bored of pretending I didn't know.<p>

But…

Unfortunately, I couldn't return those feelings. I really wanted to. I did. I wanted to grab onto his hands, and tell him honestly, "I love you too, Mikado" and then everything would be fine, happy, wonderful, but that was all fantasy. 'Maybe I could pretend?' was my first thought, but then I later realized, it would probably just do more damage to him than if I just told him the truth. I knew I could never hurt Mikado, I mean, he was my best friend, and what kind of friend would hurt his best friend, it's just not right.

So I gave it to him straight. "Yeah, I knew, but… I don't love you". Only after I said it, did I realize how cruelly I stated it; it was probably the worst way possible. I fumbled around, trying to correct my mistake. In the end, I did solve the problem, and we laughed at my stupidity. When we laughed, together, it felt how it used to. But I knew this would change our relationship forever. Never to return, to the way it should be.

Should, it sounds so pitiless, I know, but everyone can be without mercy. In a way, it was heartless of Mikado to force his feelings upon me, and expect me to be happy, or even return them also. Either way, the damage was done.

I was right about it changing, but I was also wrong. I thought it would change for the worse, I thought that, as I turned him down, he would start ignoring me, stay away, and maybe even find someone else. I couldn't have been more wrong. He began to cling to me, more than before, like a baby clinging to its candy. And, I'm sure that, at that point in time, if you took me away from him, he would certainly cry like one. It felt like we were getting closer and closer everyday, which I was happy about.

As time passed, Mikado asked a question that I assume he had wanted to ask for some time. "Does it annoy you that I like you?" was what he said. For a moment, I was stunned. I lay on the floor, in my sleeping bag, which was placed next to Mikado's, as he had decided to sleep on the floor also, thinking for a while, but not that long.

"Not really," was what I replied, with a smile plastered to my face, but I was not finished yet. "Honestly, it kind of makes me happy, like it brings us closer together, it makes me feel like… we'll be friends forever… If you get what I mean?" I said it. Was it really so hard for me to say that? It undoubtedly felt like it.

"We'll be friends forever, no matter what, I know it" Mikado replied. At that tick in time, I felt so happy, I felt like I meant something to someone, I had a purpose, and I knew for sure that we would be friends forever, and ever, till the end of time, an eternity. You name it, next week? Certainly. A thousand years from now? Most likely to be dead, but we're still friends.

But unlike last time, this time I was most definitely wrong.

It had to have been around two months since Mikado had confessed. I accidently let it slip that his constant grasp on my arm was getting slightly annoying. But that was a lie. Except there was nothing I could do. He was gone; he thought he was irritating me, so stayed away from me, but again, that wasn't true. I wanted him there, by my side. I'll admit, it was slightly embarrassing, some people actually thought we were in a relationship, which I didn't like so much.

But it just goes to show how true that saying is,

"You never know what you've got until it's gone."

A while after all of our uncertainty, which was never solved, Mikado asked to talk to me, on the roof at lunch, in private. I had no idea what to expect, but I expected it was something bad. One thing I do know is that whatever I could have hoped it to be could not have prepared me for what announcement awaited me.

With my elbow on the table, hand on my chin, I looked at the clock, longingly waiting for it to tell me I had permission to get the fuck out of that classroom, and leg it up to the roof. Once I heard the final tick of the clock, and the bell ring, I released myself from my seat, and belted out of the door. Through the hallways, up the steps, steps, and more steps, I ran, until I finally reached the top.

I looked around for Mikado, and turned to the clock on the side of the building. I then realized that I ran up here so fast, Mikado couldn't possibly have been up yet. Even if he ran, he was still a slow runner. Slowly, I walked over to the metal fencing around the roof. I looked out onto the campus wandering, once again, what he could possibly want to tell me. I fell to my knees. It had to be something bad, right? Otherwise he wouldn't have been so serious about it. That singular thought disturbed me. My thoughts tangled off onto many paths I did not wish to chase after, until I was interrupted by a startling noise.

It was the door, the handle creaking down. Abruptly, I turned and stood up, and put on my happy act, which I always performed at these times. At last, the door opened fully, I smiled. Mikado smiled in return. He then walked up to me, surprisingly slow. I flinched. I don't really know why, it's not like I was afraid. Well… I guess I was. He then told me to sit down, I did so. Mikado then placed himself next to me, but also as far away as he could be, at the end of the bench. Patiently, I watched until he said these words, "Masaomi, I don't want you to get upset by this, but please listen," My eyes widened with astonishment. What could he possibly mean by that? He continued "basically… well… ummm…" His stuttering was beginning to piss me off. All my nerves had gone, turned into vibes of fury, and I just wanted him to tell me. Without comprehending it, I shot him a glare. He looked at me, and looked frightened, then blurted out the words I wished to hear, yet dreaded the most. "Anri and I have started dating!" Once again, my eyes widened, but I quickly put on a smile, a fake one. But, why did it have to be fake, I always thought they'd be a great couple, they were cute together, so why was it so fake? I chuckled, at my own bewilderment, but when Mikado asked, blamed it on the fact he thought I'd be upset. He may have been right, but I couldn't admit that, not to him.

"So you're not upset?" he queried

"Nope," I lied. "You know I've always been telling you you're perfect for each other, so why would you think that?" It was a question that didn't need to be answered; I already knew the resolve, though it would solve nothing.

"I, well… ummm, just thought… you know, because," I interrupted his rambling, because I knew it was getting nowhere.

"Now, come on, you love her, right?" Mikado nodded. "Then you should be with her, what am I to stop you?" That was a rhetorical question. But, again, I had my own opinion of the answer in my head. The moment I said those words, I felt a terrible feeling in my stomach, or was it my heart? All I know is; it hurt.

Not after long, I couldn't control it anymore. I began internally screaming, whilst attempting to keep my composure on the outside. After a while I couldn't take it anymore, so I told Mikado I had to go, my lunch was waiting, and ran, as fast as I could. Down the steps, I had just journeyed up, faster than I thought possible, and out of the school. I didn't even care, I knew I would be in so much trouble for this, just running out so suddenly, but I kept running. It felt like the only option. Eventually I reached my apartment, slammed the front door open, up the steps, kicked my bedroom door, into my bedroom, closed it behind me and finally flopping onto my bed. I began to scream into my pillow, I couldn't take it, it was too much to take in, and I felt so betrayed, almost cheated. Even though he had no obligation to me, I still felt that way. I sat up, beginning to calm down. It wasn't until at least five minutes later that I realized that tears were streaming down my face. I started to wipe them away, but they wouldn't stop. Frantically, I began hitting my head, in a futile attempt to make them go away. Futile, was unquestionably the right word.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke the next morning, feeling parched. I knew why. Unenthusiastically, I lifted up my covers, to release my legs from them, and sat up. Perched up on my bed, I noticed that I was still dressed in my school uniform. I sighed, and stood up. Then I remembered the reason for that. I sighed once again. I thought about skipping school for the day, as I felt like I couldn't bring myself to go, not yet anyway; I wasn't ready to face Mikado yet, and especially not Anri. Trying to forget it all, I sauntered into the kitchen, slouching as I went, grabbed a glass and opened the fridge. In the corner of the fridge was a soda. It was half empty, as I saw it, being pessimistic, as I am. I sighed, remembering that Mikado had left it last time he was here. I guess it was a sign. But I ignored it, trying my hardest to push the signal away, which is harder than it sounds. I decided to fix one dilemma at a time, starting with my problem of dehydration. Swiftly, I closed the fridge, deciding I would rather have some water. I placed the glass under the tap, and twisted the tap's handle. The water cascaded into the cup, and of no fault of my own, I began thinking again. Thinking, something I had been doing too much of lately. I got to thinking about what I actually meant to Mikado. I must have not meant that much if he could just up sticks and go out with Anri. I even considered whether he loved me in the first place, whether he was just toying with my emotions, but he wouldn't do that. Would he? I didn't know what to believe anymore.

Suddenly I felt a shiver travel through my body and a cold feeling in my left hand. I woke from my thoughts. The tap was still running, and the water was spewing out from the rim of the cup and streaming down my hand. I stared for a moment, not quite comprehending to stop it I should move my hand and turn off the tap. Once I realized this, I did so. I sighed, another thing I had been doing too much lately.

That's when I decided. I needed to tell someone. Tell them how I felt, let out my emotions. I couldn't just keep it locked inside me the whole time, it would just build up, and eventually I'd have no choice but to explode. And I didn't want that. But I didn't know who to tell, I had one person in mind, it seemed so perfect, but at the same time the most imperfect. Saki, she'd understand, listen, and give me her honest opinion. But I couldn't, I was more likely to want to see Mikado than see Saki. I needed more time. She was out, who next? Izaya-san? He'd never agree to it, and he wouldn't even care… But I was stupid enough to try…

I ran into my room, grabbed my phone, and with a few clicks of the buttons, it was ringing. _Calling Orihara Izaya,_ the screen read. I sighed… again; I was beginning to piss myself off. The suspense was horrifying; all I could hear was the dialling tone. After a few beats of the tone I calmed down, knowing that there was no way he would say yes, this was just my confirmation. But the suspense kicked in again as the tone continued. Maybe he's not awake yet, who knows what time he wakes up to do his trolling of the world, and he might get angry if I wake him, and I truly didn't want that. I was about to hang up when I heard it, his voice. "What a surprise, I wasn't expecting to be receiving a call from Kida Masaomi-kun".

I froze. At that moment, I forgot everything. Why was I even doing this? What was I even doing?

"Ne~? Masaomi-kun, are still you there?" The teasing tone lingered. My eyes narrowed with detest. But I still continued. My anger left me as soon as I began to speak, and distorted into fear.

I began to stammer. "I was just… ummm… well, there's something on my mind… and I just wanted to tell someone, and I didn't know who else to-" I stopped there. He was going to say no, I wanted him to, but at the same time, I wanted him to say yes, I was making a fool out of myself, and the one listening to my stupid plead, was the worst possible person to beg to. I was about to strike out my request. But I was interrupted.

"Sure," My jaw dropped. I really wasn't expecting that.

I couldn't see it, but I knew there would now be a large smirk, stretching all the way across his face. Sick and twisted, as it always was.

"I-… okay", was all I could say in return.

"Great! Fancy some Russian Sushi? It's on me~!"Meet you in say, well, I've got some work to finish, but how does six sound? I should be done by then and it ought to give you enough time to prepare yourself" _Prepare myself?_ What the hell was that supposed to mean. My anger blossomed again. Except before I could unleash myself, I realized he had hung up.

Wearily, I walked over to my bed, and sat down. Izaya was just going to make fun of me for it, so why ask him, I don't know. I shelved my back down onto the bed. I sighed. It was only nine, in the morning. I still had at least ten hours 'til I had to be there. Realizing I was still rather tired, I decided to get some more sleep.

I wish I hadn't done that…

I had a nightmare. It's amazing how many events you can fit into a singular dream. I won't go into much depth about it; mainly because I don't really want to, but basically, Anri and Mikado were dating, nothing changed there then, and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. It was really pissing me off, another thing to add to the "doing too much of lately" list. However, that wasn't all that happened. Lots of events took place, actions that I don't want to talk about. But in the end, Anri kicked the bucket, but that wasn't what made it a nightmare. It was the fact I was happy… How could I think that, ever, she's my friend, someone important to me, why? I suppose the answer is rather obvious. I'm jealous. Well, if you thought that, you'd be wrong. The correct answer is as follows. I'm afraid. Afraid of losing my friend, the fact I'd been dumped, like trash into a bin, so easily, so quickly, no preparation.

Preparation. Prepare myself. Like Izaya said, I needed to be prepared, for anything.

I woke from my nightmare, beads of sweat on my forehead. For a moment, I lay still on my bed, breathing heavily. Once I had reassured myself it wasn't true, I sat up. Noticing the time, I panicked. It was five minutes to six. Meaning, I had only five minutes to; get dressed, get presentable, and get out of there and leg it over to Russian Sushi. _Crap_. How the hell did I sleep for so long? Immediately, I leapt out of bed and into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, I was a mess. I had no time for a shower, so I had to try my best to make it look like I had taken one earlier. I brushed my hair, not something I did often. I did it so that it looked like I hadn't been trying to look good, but so that it was natural. It's harder than it sounds. Once I was done, I hurriedly ran back into my room, grabbed some clothes and changed into then as fast as I could.

As soon as I was done, I wasted no time. I ran straight to Russian Sushi, stopping for nothing, I really did not want to test Izaya's patience. Running, a forth thing I'd been doing too much of.


	3. Chapter 3

As I ran, I saw Izaya, standing outside Russian Sushi, waiting for me, arms folded, looking a bit displeased. I must have been too late for his liking. I didn't really understand why he was waiting for me outside; surely he could just go inside. I stopped running as I was now stood next to him. Though I wasn't necessarily standing, I was doubled over, hands on knees, quite obviously panting.

"You're late, Kida Masaomi-kun." I looked up to see him even more displeased, despite this; he still had a hint of his signature devilish grin.

"Sorry", was all I could say, as my bend turned into an apologetic bow. This just caused the smirk to take control. It was as if my apology pleased him. Amused, would have been a better word.

"Shall we go then?" Izaya made his way in.

"Okay…" Hesitantly, I followed suit.

I followed Izaya into a private booth. It appeared that he had put a lot of thought into this. That confused me. Why would he put so much consideration, so much preparation, into something that he most likely wouldn't take seriously? Preparation, that word again. It's like it's haunting me. More like Izaya's haunting me.

Izaya sat down, and then slithered along to the middle of the seat, on the one side. So I decided to sit on the other side. I sat on the edge of the seat, so that if I wanted to leave, I could, and be gone fast. I didn't trust him, and I wasn't planning on doing so anytime soon.

After we had ordered, we sat silently for a while, though it wasn't hushed in my head. I couldn't control my thoughts. They were all over the place. Some were about how I really felt about Mikado, some about Anri, even some about Izaya, mainly because he was just staring at me, most likely enjoying my failed regulation. He always seemed to take pleasure in other people's pain.

Izaya probably read all of it. He was just like that. He somehow knew everything about everyone. If I held that kind of 'power', as you could call it, I suppose I would want to find out if Mikado ever liked me, as it was the thing that had been on my mind for the last day, or maybe even use it to figure out my true feelings on the whole matter.

Sitting across from me, Izaya seemed to be getting bored of the peace. It took a few seconds for me to realize that he was directly opposite me, this most likely happened whilst I was up in the clouds. "Did you brush your hair or something?" He noticed. Another failure on my part, there's no fooling him. "I didn't realize your intention was to impress me, Masaomi-kun", a slight chuckle escaping the informant's lips. This time I really wanted to lash out, but I refrained myself, knowing it would do me no good. Izaya saw it all. I decided to let his comment slide. Instead, I asked a question which had been lingering in the back of my mind.

"Why did you go to so much trouble?"

"What do you mean, Masaomi-kun?" The constant use of my name irritated me. But I made sure not to act on it.

"I mean, the whole, reserving a booth thing"

"Actually, I reserved it for a meeting I was meant to have with someone, which I cancelled."

"I see… was it important?"

"I suppose"

"Sorry…"

"You have no need to be, Masaomi-kun. I think I would much rather talk to you than some random guy I don't know, about stuff I don't care about." He proclaimed as he leant back, with his hands behind his head.

"Oh… well, It's not like your really going to care about what I have to say."

"Ah yes, we should probably get onto the purpose of this outing!" He said this with a childish smirk, which then transformed into his usual grin, as he leant forwards, and placed his chin on his hands, which were now propped up on the table. His stare halted my speech. "Well Masaomi-kun? What is it you wish to talk about?"

"Well, it's about Mikado-"

"Ryugamine-kun? How is he?"

"He's fine, a little too fine if you ask me."

"Oh, harbouring a speck of hate there I see, shame on you Masaomi-kun" Clicking his tongue, and shaking his head, as he said it.

"Not quite… Well I guess so."

"Hmmmmm… I see…" Though I had no idea how much he actually saw. "Care to elaborate; if I am to assume this is what you wanted to talk about?"

"Part of it yes, well… in a nut shell, I'm rather confused as to whether he ever saw me as a friend."

"I'm going to need a bit more than 'in a nut shell', Masaomi-kun" His stare never leaving me. I was going to have tell him everything, whether I liked it or not, and I certainly did not like it. I sighed. This was certainly no cakewalk. It wasn't going to be easy.

I took a moment to think about how to explain it, one slip up and my pride would be on the line. I need to make sure that I didn't sound deprived, needy, most importantly, stupid, because I knew I would be making a fool out of myself. Heck, I already was.

"Well…I ….It's…" I didn't know what to say. Izaya, as always, observed my oblivion, the void in my mind, the unknown, and the nothingness that I felt. I could tell that he was not amused by my hesitation.

"Masaomi-kun, if you wish to tell me something, I expect you to tell me." His expressions changed, to an extremely serious one. Once again, I feared him.

I was going to have to tell him honestly, furthermore, everything.

"Okay… here goes." Izaya's intent stare deepened. I sighed, before progressing. "I found out, about a couple of months ago, that Mikado had feelings for me…" Izaya's head tilted.

"Surely it is normal to have feelings for your friends, Masaomi-kun, but there are lots of types of feelings, which sort are you reasoning?" He knew exactly what I was talking about, but he just wanted to toy with me.

"You know what I mean, the love type…" The smirk widened. I looked away; I didn't want to see it. This merely made it broaden further. I turned back as Izaya began to speak once again.

"Is this a bad thing?" I was about to reply, but there was no need, as Izaya responded for me.

"I suppose you perceived it as a good thing, a very good thing, thus there must be more to it. Am I right?" There was no question to it. Of course he was right, and he knew it.

I was as transparent as frosted glass, translucent, but murky, only those that look close enough can see the details. Izaya was the type to look through the haze, with no difficulty.

"Is it that Ryugamine-kun started dating Sonohara-san?" How did he know that? Mikado had only just told me, so how could Izaya-san know? I suppose it was part of his job to know, everything, about everyone.

"How did you-"

"I saw them together, it looked they were on some sort of date."

"How long ago- When?" My curiosity took the better of me.

"Hmmm… about a month ago" Izaya said, with a calm tone. My eyes widened. Why did Mikado take so long to tell me? They'd been dating for a month, maybe even longer, and chose to tell me now. Izaya began to notice my emotions, I took note of this.

I stood up to leave, "I knew I shouldn't have come, this is pointless"

"What makes you say that, Masaomi-kun?" Izaya pouted as he said it, but I could tell it as fake.

"It's not like you really care about how I feel, so I see no point in talking to you."

"How do you know that I don't care?" That question halted me for a moment, only a moment. I soon realized he was toying with me, what else would it be?

"Yeah, right. Of course you care." I said sarcastically, chuckling slightly, and then headed for the door. On my way out, I bumped into Simon, who was bringing our food.

"Leaving so soon, Kida-kun?"

"Yeah, I am" I answered simply.

"Why not stay longer? Sushi is good, yes?" he said with a warm smile on his face.

I wanted to smile back, but I pushed past him, I didn't have time for this, and I just wanted to leave. I walked through the city at a slow pace; I was fed up of running. I admired the city, as I walked, all the bright colours, contrasting against the jet black sky, yet if Ikebukuro had a soul, there would certainly be no bright colours to it.

Eventually, I made it home. Sat on my bed, and stared at the floor. For once, my mind was blank. I suppose I was thankful for that, but it also felt kind of lonely. Suddenly, I heard a muffled vibrating noise and an unusual feeling in my leg, it was my phone. I removed it from my pocket, not bothering to look at the screen, and put it on the table in my room. It was probably Mikado, most likely asking me why I wasn't at school today. I decided to ignore it. I wasn't going to go to school tomorrow that had been determined also.

I sighed, and then realized I had nothing else to do, so I might as well go to sleep, not that I needed anymore than I had already had. Slowly, I changed into my pyjamas, as I felt no need to rush. Mind still empty, I got into bed and fell asleep, almost instantly.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, I had no sort of dream, none at all. Not a nightmare, neither an enjoyable one. It was just blank, filled with nothingness. Maybe talking to Izaya was a good thing, not that we really talked about much. I had no idea how, but perhaps it was his fault I felt this emptiness, but again, it could be seen as both good and bad.

I was beginning to believe it was better not to have a purpose; therefore, I would have no reason to fulfil it. Though, the thought of living without purpose is somewhat depressing. But there are many people living in this world without reason, and it doesn't bother them. Or maybe they just don't realize it.

It was the weekend, so I didn't have to decide whether to skip school or not, for that, I was happy. I then began the daily routine, get up, shower, get dressed, eat, and then prepare for the day, whatever that day may consist of. However, today, I didn't know what to prepare for.

After I had finished the usual, I sat on couch thinking of what to do with the day, even though fate had now decided for me. I heard a knock on the door, and immediately leapt up to answer it.

Gradually, I opened the door, peering round as I did so. It was Mikado. He was probably here because I didn't reply last night. Once the door was open, entirely, I addressed him. "Hey, Mikado, What are you doing here?" I said cheerfully, which was an act. I also smiled, to improve my performance.

"I came to check on you, seeing as you weren't in school yesterday."

_Yeah… Check on me. He probably doesn't even care._ Mikado pushed passed me, to get into my apartment. I closed the door behind him and then turned to him.

"I was going to text you last night, to ask you about why you weren't at school yesterday, but I'm all out of credit." He said, standing a few metres away from the door. _Wait, that text wasn't from him then who could it have been? _I wanted to check, but I couldn't be so rude as to kick Mikado out so suddenly. But I needed to find a subtle way of getting him out, because just being around him, all the feelings, all the queries, were starting to return to me.

"Oh yeah, about that" I scratched my head, trying to think of an excuse. I looked around, trying to get inspiration from something around me. "I was feeling a bit sick," was the best I could come up with. Given more time, I would have come up with a much better one. "But I'm fine now" I said with a fake smile wedged on my face.

"Oh, okay. Are you sure you're okay, maybe I should stay a while?"

_No, you should just go back to your darling Anri_, is what I wanted to say, more what my frustration wanted me to say, but I didn't, because I knew it would cause more problems than I wanted, making everything worse.

"No I'm fine, really. Doing anything interesting today?" I asked, doing my best to find a way to change the subject, whilst walking back over to the couch.

"Ummm, yeah, I'm meeting up with Anri later" he said nervously. _How did I know_. I walked over to Mikado, grabbed his shoulders, and began dragging him out of my apartment. Subtle. Yeah, that's what it was.

"Mikado, you know you should never leave a girl waiting!" I declared, slightly chanting, as I pushed Mikado out the door. He protested a little, but I still prevailed. "Now go!" I said as I pushed him out the door, still smiling, and faintly sniggering. Of course, it was all pretend.

"But I-" He protested.

"I said go!"

"It's not until-" I slammed the door, not wanting to hear anymore. I turned around, and placed my head back onto the door. _Crap. It's all coming back._ I slid my back down against the door. Hastily, I wrapped my hands around my head, pulling it down, in an attempt to stop them coming back. However, once again, my actions were futile.

It all came back, the sadness, the uncertainty, all the things I wanted to throw away, like garbage, like me. I sighed, and then released my head from my hands, by dropping them to the ground. I looked up to the ceiling. The ceiling, it was so plain. Unlike most things, I thought, why did life have to be so complicated? If only life were plain and simple, like the ceiling. I chuckled, at my ridiculousness of comparing life to a ceiling. I felt a bit better now.

Remembering the text, I leapt up, and ran upstairs, to my bedroom. I went through the door, and walked over to the table where my phone sat. I stared at it, almost longingly. Though, technically, longing would be the right word, as it was my desire, to see who had sent it and what that message read. But I didn't move.

Was I afraid? No, I just wanted the suspense. It makes it all so much more exciting. My ceiling analogy had just been hurled out the window, at a great speed. I waited a few more seconds, letting it build up; I could feel myself beginning to glint with excitement. I couldn't take it much longer, It was becoming too much. Impulsively, I reached out and grabbed my phone. I flipped up the screen and pressed the buttons rapidly until I reached my inbox. The cell slipped from my hands.

The mere shock of it made me drop the mobile. I began to shake lightly. Why was I afraid? How could I become so scared, just because of a name? It probably wasn't even that bad, I was just jumping to conclusions.

I crouched down to grab my phone. Looming over the floor, I noticed it was also plain. My mind, reached out the window to find the analogy again, but did not accomplish its' goal. Once more, I wished life was plain, like the ceiling and the floor, nevertheless, this time I did not laugh.

I continued to picking up my phone, then stood up, moved over to my bed and sat down. My finger lingered over the centre button, which would soon open the message. This time the waiting was not for the suspense, it was to fuel my anxiety. I closed my eyes, and slowly pressed the buttons. Hearing it click, I opened my eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

I had to upload this twice (because it was failing on me), so sorry for the email spamming .

Sorry for such a long wait ^.^"… I've been kind of busy… and my laptop died so I had to reset it and… other stuff… on with the story :D

Also I'm sorry it's so short (Is it short? Well it's shorter than the other chapters) but I just thought I'd update it quickly to prove I'm alive :P

I WILL TRY AND WRITE SWIFTLY! If I have the will power… ¬.¬

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><p>I opened my eyes to find the screen mainly filled with a single word, if you could even call it a word…<p>

"~! Why did you leave so suddenly, Kida-kun? I was having so much fun :( Did you run away just to upset me! :'( "

Just reading the first sentence, made me cringe. Scratch that, all of it was discomforting. He always seemed to act weirdly when it came to texting and online forums. Actually, Izaya was just bizarre overall, though, that's an understatement. Realizing that was not the entire message, I scrolled down. Not that I wanted to.

"Guess what~! That meal we had yesterday (If we'd actually eaten :C) was kind of like a date Wouldn't you agree~?"

No I certainly did not agree. Date? What the hell was he on about? I wanted to see him, but only so I could wipe that damned smirk off his stupid face. But before I could finish reading the text, as that was not all, the doorbell rang. Again. _What is with people and visiting me today? I suppose I can't help it if people love me~… who I am kidding…_

The bell rang again.

I decided to answer the door before the caller broke my doorbell, and then maybe even break the door. As I ran down the steps, I heard the ringing yet again. "Give it a rest! I'm coming!" I shouted, getting a bit impatient myself.

I ripped open the door, showing my irritation. "What d-" I froze. The figure in front of me was the one I had just been contemplating the demise of. I always wanted to lash out at him, but whenever the occasion came, I would cower away in fear. This time, I swore, would be different.

"What the hell are you doing here!"

"You know why I'm here, Masaomi-kun, I said in my text" He said, stepping through the doorway, pushing past me, uninvited, and into my apartment. _Great, another unwanted guest._

"I didn't read it because you were banging on the door!" That was half true, as I had read some of it, but not completed it. Nevertheless, saying I had read it, was not something I felt like dealing with.

"Masaomi-kun, how long does it take you to read a text?"

"Wha- What's that to do with anything?" I queried, calming down slightly, but not really aspiring to do so.

"Well, it really doesn't take long to read one, unless you're a _very _slow reader, so you should have had time to." I stared at him for a moment, as if he were mad, although I'm not suggesting he's not. He most definitely is.

"Also, I wasn't 'banging on the door', Masaomi-kun, I was merely ringing the doorbell~" he added, sounding very smug, with his, eternally present, smirk.

I decided not to participate in this battle and instead asked this: "Seeing as I didn't have time to read the text could you maybe tell me verbally why you are here?"

"Hmmm…If you were a faster reader maybe I'd consider telling you…" he said, turning away, as if disguised, but obviously fake. I glared at him, not caring about the consequences that could occur anymore, though if something did happen, I knew I would regret it later.

Izaya glanced at me from the corner of his eye. Even though it was a small glimpse, I could see the satisfaction in his eyes, the satisfaction caused by my anger. He's just a sick, sick man from finding pleasure in such things. I hate him, and nothing can change that.

"Leave now, or tell me what you're doing here!" Izaya's head snapped back, looking rather shocked at my sudden outburst.

"…Hmmmm… I suppose I should just give it to you straight…" he said seriously, I started to feel slightly afraid.

"G-give what to me straight?" I said wearily. Izaya then began to laugh.

"That completely changed your mood, Masaomi-kun~" he said, continuing to snigger.

"Wh-what the hell? Do you actually have anything to say or are you just teasing me? If that's the case, please leave!"

His roguish manner came to a halt.

"It's about Ryugamine-kun," Izaya paused, and looked at me for a moment, as if he thought I would ask something like 'what about him?', seeing as I was very angry, but I didn't care for the answer, so I didn't care to ask it. He then continued.

"It seems like this is really bothering you, Masaomi-kun. Though it may be very interesting to observe your… what appears to be misery, it conflicts with my plans~" He once again looked at me for any emotion. I did not speak.

He sighed. "Look, Masaomi, I'm trying to help you here, can't you see that?" He was trying to help me? Unlikely. It was more like he was aiming to aggravate me, and succeeding. Or more likely, to use me for some objective I'm not yet aware of. This time, staying silent was not something I did.

"It's my problem! So let me deal with it and leave me alone!" I may have been shouting out my feelings but it was more of a contradiction. They weren't my true feelings, maybe partly, but mainly so. I wanted help, yes, but not from him. He was the person I least aspired to crawl to…. Again…

"Just fuck off already, Izaya!-san!"

"I just want to help you, Masaomi-chan~" _Chan?_ Where did that come from?

"Do I have to repeat myself!" Izaya stared at me blankly, and did not reply. "Ugh… Look, I need to go, so… just whatever" I then stormed out the door. I may have said there was somewhere I needed to be, but in fact there was not. I didn't care where I went; I just wanted to get away from the familiar places. Somewhere I could be left alone, somewhere far away. _If only that were possible…_

* * *

><p>Izaya found himself alone in Masaomi's house. So many possibilities crossed his mind, but one stood brighter than the rest. Hastily, Izaya reached a decision. Realizing Masaomi would not be back for some time, he paced to Masaomi's room.<p> 


End file.
